it's 6 in the morning.heh, i feel kind of sick today so i don't know what i'll do.Why am i updating this at 6 in the morning? why am i sitting here, with my laptop, writing this write now? i swear, i always update when i have nothing to say and i really need to stop.I've been completely anti social, and yeah that needs to stop too i think.
I won't make this a big long entry, i just need to get some feelings and thoughts out of my head before i freak myself out or something.To tell the truth, i don't know what i'm thinking, i never know what i'm thinking about because i always have so much in my head that it just confuses me.I go blank.I'm not sure about anything anymore..i think, no i know for a fact that the only thing i'm sure about is that i am in love with the most amazing person in the entire world..that's the only thing, the rest is just confusing.The band, shows,recording and stuff just makes me stressed and i really don't want to deal with it right now.I want to get away from everything that's stressing me out.Just take Pie and runaway someplace that no one knows about, so we won't get hasseled or nagged about this and that, and just relax with each other.just us.But, i don't know when that will happen, that's another thing i keep thinking about is that i will never have time to spend with him,or anyone for that matter.God, how i want to spend every waking minute in his arms..but that won't happen.To be honest, i have no idea when that will really get to happen.
Why am i making this so long again? i'm so pathetic sometimes i know.I'm just lonely and confused.I just need to get away,but i have a job to do and i won't let anyone suffer from my stupidity.On a lighter note, Chuck's birthday is Wednesday.I'm excited, he's my best friend i gotta get him something cool or i'll feel bad, i'm not the type of person to just say 'happy birthday', i gotta make it special, i like making the ones i love laugh and smile..it gives me some sort of relief i guess.I haven't been around as much, i will though..i haven't even talked to anyone what so ever, not even avril, so that just proves how anti social i've actually been.Please forgive me, i will be around.Alright, this update was so much longer than i had expected, and i'm exhausted i have no clue why i'm up this early, someone give me some coffee or nyquil, i hate being so groggy.I'd rather be up or asleep either one. And why is this font so small? alright i'm done...
I love you Pie, hope to talk to you soon <3